The Ultimate Guide to Identifying and Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs
Mar 08, 2024
Do you ever feel held back by doubts, fears, and beliefs about yourself that seem to come out of nowhere? Those nagging thoughts whispering "I'm not good enough" or "I don't belong here"?
We all have limiting beliefs that sabotage us in subtle ways. They lurk in our subconscious, steering us off course before we even realize it. I'm going to show you how to break free. We'll shine a light on those sneaky beliefs so you can transform them for good.
Get ready to take back your power and become the fullest version of yourself. No more being trapped in self-limiting stories. Just imagine what you can accomplish with this newfound confidence and freedom!
In this blog, you'll learn:
- The main limiting beliefs
- How to embrace authenticity
- Steps for dismantling negative beliefs
- A story illustrating the power of beliefs
- An explanation of EFT tapping
- How to trust your own process
As we navigate through life, we tend to skip the inquiry and overlook our thoughts. They just seem unquestionably true. Often, these beliefs operate in the background, steering us from behind the curtain.
It's as if we're in a trance, under a spell. We don't question these beliefs or dig deeper into what's really bothering us.
But there are methods we can use to examine our limitations and begin transforming the beliefs that hold us back. Today, I'll share one approach that has been invaluable for my clients and me.
The key is awareness. Let's expose those habit thoughts so you can start breaking free!
The Main Limiting Beliefs
I've talked about the main limiting beliefs--the ones from which everything else originates. "I'm not good enough" is a common one, and a variation of deficiency issues manifest from this root belief. But there is also:
- I’m afraid I’m unlovable-personalizing bad treatment.
- I’m afraid I’m too much-people suggest you shrink your energy.
- I don’t belong-not feeling connected to your community or group.
- I will be judged-fear of humiliation or rejection.
These are manifestations that can occur in various aspects of life, be it in family, at work, or in interactions with other people.
These are aspects we can delve into when considering the broader perspective of Reveal and Heal Obstacles To Your Success, whatever that may entail. Success, in essence, could simply mean self-acceptance. But first we have to understand the background limiting belief playing in every situation. Eventually those reruns in your head will get old, and you’ll feel inspired to catch them and redirect.
Embracing Authenticity
First we have to unplug from what people might think of you. It’s easier to assume everyone will judge everyone, and it’s a passing thought and doesn’t mean anything. Definitely their complements and criticisms have to do what they value, and nothing to do with you.
The idea of being authentic without tracking our environment to be understood or gain approval is true freedom. But how can we be authentic if we’re concerned about being judged or exiled from our tribe? Let’s start with self compassion that this is a human process for us all.
Many clients express frustration with comments like, "Aren't I done with this? Shouldn't I be over this by now?" Unraveling conditioning is an evolution of what is most important in that season of our lives.
The key is to start viewing those persistent thoughts and beliefs with curiosity rather than judgment, like, "Oh, I didn't know I still thought that about myself," or "I didn't realize this was still a genuine belief I held."
It's akin to my experience in couples counseling. When one partner keeps repeating the same complaint, it often indicates an underlying need that hasn't been heard or understood.
Dismantling Negative Beliefs
Once we become aware of a limiting belief, the next step is dismantling it. This involves questioning our negative thoughts and beliefs to reveal where they truly come from.
A key part of this process is checking in with yourself, “Is this thought aligned with unconditional self-acceptance and compassion? Is this thought offering me unconditional positive regard?” Just notice if your true self is being kind to you. The key is recognizing when your thoughts come from a victim mentality or low self-worth.
Both the inflation and deflation of our true selves are false identities. Both are fixated on the image. Instead, let's embrace what's genuinely true. For example, admitting, "Right now, I believe I'm not as good as other people."
But rather than dwelling on that belief, let's explore why we think that way. If the voice within plays the victim or paints a picture of someone doing something to us, or if it comes from a place of deflation or feeling stuck, we realize we're not fully embracing our adult state. Also, there is a sneaky secondary gain or benefit to believing, “I’m not as good as other people.” For example, if you feel overwhelmed, this may give you a free pass from taking action. Sometimes it’s easier to explore the underlying deficiency belief.
Now, when a negative or unhelpful core belief surfaces, ask yourself:
- Where did I learn that belief?
- What is the secondary gain or benefit for believing that thought now?
- Who would be upset or envious if I thought well of myself?
- What is a more positive or accurate belief?
The Power of Beliefs
You can't just talk yourself out of a core limiting belief - those beliefs have deep roots. They are reinforced by many past experiences that serve as pillars holding up that belief structure. Simply repeating affirmations won't magically undo these powerful beliefs. Those experiences need to be properly processed and integrated beyond the mind.
Kristin Neff, Co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion once said, “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?”
Rather than harshly judging ourselves for shortcomings, self-compassion involves extending the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to a five year old child. Having the honor of reparenting yourself with self-compassion can truly be healing. Saying things like, "What happened that hurt your feelings honey?” Acknowledging our feelings without merciless criticism can be our opportunity to respectfully hold space for ourselves.
Taking Ownership
An important aspect of overcoming limiting beliefs is taking responsibility for our own growth and healing. When we remember that bad things happen to all humans, we’re less likely to feel stuck in victim mode. Remember, staying in toxic positivity will keep the trauma stored in our body, so It’s critical to let ourselves feel the outrage and upset, then move to cultivating deeper resilience with our mental and emotional landscape. In time, adulting becomes easier as we build self-trust that we can move through upsetting things.
Main Negative Core Beliefs
The main core belief is a variation of, “I'm not good enough.” You know, not wealthy enough, smart enough or thin enough for example. I find that we humans vacillate with variations of, “I’m not enough, I am too much, or I am not lovable.” These grandparent beliefs show up at work, in groups of friends, with family, or with our romantic partners. What’s one of your default negative beliefs?
A Story About Beliefs
Now, let me share a story about a client, whom I'll refer to as David. He was an avid surfer, deeply passionate about it, and surfed regularly. Then, unexpectedly, he concluded that water is dangerous, despite never having any negative experiences while surfing.
He never had any negative experiences in the lake, pool, or elsewhere in his life. When we delved into this strong belief that water is dangerous, it seemed to emerge suddenly. We started unpacking it by exploring his life experiences.
Once, when he was little, his parents dropped the news of their divorce right before his swim lesson, but this event didn't have a significant impact on him at the time. It was undoubtedly sad, but he went to his swim lesson as usual.
Another incident occurred when he and his dad had an argument while fishing, connecting the negative experience with water. The tipping point came when, during a beach walk with his fiancée, she broke up with him.
Shortly after, he began experiencing this phobia that escalated into deep depression. Surfing, once a source of immense joy and meditation requiring presence, became a struggle. His world started closing in, prompting him to seek my assistance.
As we unpacked these beliefs and reevaluated the actual nature of water, we discovered it wasn't as dangerous as he perceived. He was, in fact, a proficient surfer. Unpacking his history, as well as doing trauma work like Invoke and Release® and EFT, he was able to heal and enjoy surfing again.
What is EFT?
EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, or Tapping is a technique that stimulates acupressure points by tapping, or rubbing while focusing on situations that represent personal fear or trauma. For those who haven't tried it before, it involves a certain sequence of points that open up the meridians in your body releasing long held blocks in your energy field.
Tips And Tricks for Uncovering and Transforming Limiting Beliefs:
- Make a list of your persistent negative thoughts and beliefs. View them with curiosity rather than judgment.
- Question your beliefs by asking yourself "Where did this belief come from?"
- Notice with compassion, if there is a theme of being the victim in your thinking.
- Try rewriting the belief in a more empowered perspective to see how you feel.
- Use techniques like EFT/tapping to stimulate acupressure points while focusing on transforming traumatic beliefs.
- Approach limiting beliefs as if you're a character investigating your own story with compassion.
- Gamify your ability to cultivate your mental and emotional landscape to make transformation fun versus a task.
Would you like to be taken through the process of uncovering and transforming limiting beliefs? This information above is from the deep dive series called Reveal and Heal Obstacles to Your Success™. There you will find a step-by-step healing path to help you build a strong and resilient foundation to heal from your past and move through life with ease.
You can find Uncovering and Transforming Limiting Beliefs healing class in the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle
Invoke and Release® Can Help You Transform Your Limiting Beliefs:
- Embrace Yourself: Accept all aspects of yourself with compassion.
- Break Free: Release limiting beliefs causing inner conflict.
- Invoke Empowerment: Cultivate qualities like inner harmony and feeling your power.
- Achieve Wholeness: Attain greater self-awareness and inner ease.
Deepen Your Journey with the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle:
- Embracing Your Parts: Discover healing practices to embrace every aspect of yourself.
- Deepen Your Self-Love: Engage in exercises that foster self-love, self-respect and acceptance.
- Overcoming Inner Criticism: Learn techniques to silence the inner critic and cultivate a kind inner dialog.
Embark on a transformative experience. Join the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle to navigate through these powerful practices and foster profound self-respect.
Important Links:
Reveal and Heal Obstacles To Your Success
Invoke and Release® Healing Circle
Book Recommendations:
