Why Should You Bother Meeting and Greeting Your Inner Parts?
Mar 01, 2024
We are composed of numerous threads, each representing a unique facet of who we are. Life unfolds as a continuous exploration of our multifaceted selves, and within this journey lies the art of meeting and greeting the various parts that make us whole. Welcome to a transformative exploration of self-discovery and acceptance.
What is the "Meet and Greet"?
Imagine your personality as a diverse cast of characters, each playing a significant role in the grand production of your life. "Meet and greet" is not just a social event; it's an internal affair—an invitation to intimately connect with the different dimensions of your own persona. From the bold protagonist to the quiet observer, every part contributes to the narrative of your existence.
Alright, let's kick things off by unwrapping the idea of "your parts." Now, I get it—some folks might raise an eyebrow, thinking, "Parts? What parts?" When people hear about this, they're like, "Uh-oh, does this mean I have Multiple Personality Disorder or DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)?
But relax, it's not about that. We all cruise through life in our own unique ways, picking up tricks along the road to help us out. We’re peeling back the curtain to see who's backstage in our support crew. We're not just here for the everyday stuff; we're also tuning in to the challenges that life throws our way.
Whenever you've hit those moments of feeling a bit low or totally swamped, our goal is to steer towards a life where you carry more of your strength within. Now, just to clear things up, this isn't about having some power trip over others. It's all about finding that empowerment within yourself. That's exactly why we're introducing you to another avenue to self-empowerment. Let's boost that inner strength!
In this blog, you'll learn:
- The idea behind exploring your different inner "parts"
- Insights from various models like The Voice Dialogue, Psychosynthesis, and Internal Family Systems
- Key defense mechanisms that act as inner allies
- Tips on meeting and greeting your parts
Lessons from Embracing Our Selves
My initial exposure to this concept came about when I stumbled upon a book during my travels. It's titled Embracing Our Selves: The Voice Dialogue Manual by Hal and Sidra Stone. My copy of this book is quite old, with its pages now sporting a yellowish hue. Feel free to search for it on Amazon and order it if you like, but I’ll tell you what it’s about!
The book provides a unique perspective on how we perceive things within ourselves. For instance, they categorize voices into roles such as:
- the Protector
- the Controller
- the Inner Boss
There are these default voices, these heavyweights, that like to call the shots. Think of them as the VIPs in your mental space. And here's the interesting bit: people often find themselves slipping into specific roles, like trying on different hats, depending on the situation. It's like choosing the role that fits the scene best in the grand play of life.
Some individuals might choose the damsel in distress persona, even though they are aware it doesn't truly reflect them. Others might take on the role of the self-sufficient individual who can handle everything, leading to a life where they rarely receive help. Each of these roles has its own dynamics, and people find themselves aligning with one that suits them.
Developing the Inner Leader and Warrior
Now, let's uncover some hidden gems within ourselves—those aspects of our disowned self that might have taken a back seat. The Voice Dialogue shines a light on these as the Inner Child and the Parental Self, often left in the shadows.
Think of them as the overlooked members of your inner crew. Take a moment. Does your Inner Child need a bit more attention? Or perhaps, the Parental Self is waiting to be acknowledged. As we unravel this, it becomes clear that some of us may not have fully embraced the leader or the warrior within. Not the kind that's always ready for a battle, but the leader and warrior who can kick back, relax, and trust the flow of life. It's a fresh perspective worth exploring together.
My Psychosynthesis Journey
Psychosynthesis was an absolute gem of a class during my grad school days. Now, this wasn't your run-of-the-mill lecture; it was a mind-expanding theory founded by an Italian maestro named Roberto Assagioli, straight from the Freud and Jung era. We delved into the mysteries of the self, using a circle as our compass to explore every nook and cranny within.
Of course, being me, I couldn't resist tweaking a few things to suit my style. Assagioli's approach was like a breath of fresh air—more gestalt, more holistic—fitting snugly into the realm of transpersonal psychology. Now, critics threw shade, claiming it was a tad too all-encompassing for their taste. But me? I reveled in it. Sure, my Psychosynthesis journey lasted only a semester, but oh, what a ride! Consider this a glimpse into that fascinating perspective.
Internal Family Systems in the ‘90s
In the ‘90s, Internal Family Systems (IFS) gained popularity with Richard Schwartz, and it continues to be well-received today for its structured approach to navigating the inner world. This beautiful system introduces the concept of protector parts, including managers, firefighters, and the parts that have been exiled. Each part operates with its own unique language.
Embrace Your Parts
For those who prefer specific details, don't worry about doing it the "right" way. We're embarking on a journey to meet your parts, considering various models I've encountered over the years. The goal is to equip you with additional tools. Now, let's delve into some common defense mechanisms that serve as our inner allies.
Understanding Defense Mechanisms
Now, let's dive into the intriguing world of defense mechanisms. Why are they essential for our understanding, you ask? Well, recognizing these mechanisms acts as a key to unlocking insights into our inner world. So, as we explore, keep your ears perked for those aha moments when you think, "Oh, I do that too."
And if you're feeling the urge, don't hesitate to jot down those reflections—it's all part of the enlightening journey within. Also, it can be fun to name your own version of the “part” examples. Remember, all our parts are helping protect us from humiliation and pain. Might as well have fun with this.
- Denial - Debra Denial
Denial involves refusing to accept reality and making up narratives to avoid discomfort. This can play out in relationships when challenges are not acknowledged.
For example, in a relationship where there's an unspoken agreement to be monogamous, and not an open or polyamorous relationship, denial steps into the spotlight when someone isn't quite ready to admit that the relationship is hitting some bumps.
Instead of facing these challenges head-on, we see coping mechanisms taking the stage, deftly shoving that discomfort aside. The result? Sometimes it manifests as cheating or seeking an alternative exit, almost like a silent message saying, "I can't handle this now; something's brewing."
- Repression - Repression Ryan
Repression is unconsciously blocking out painful memories, which still influence behavior. It's a trauma response, where current situations trigger responses reflective of past experiences. When faced with a level two upset in the present but reacting as if it's a level eight upset, it signals that an old memory is trying to resurface.
- Projection - Projecting Payton
Projection is seeing your own unacceptable feelings in someone else. It signals the need for self-reflection.
Think about a common workplace scenario. You're feeling a bit uneasy around a coworker, and suddenly, you start projecting onto them, convinced they don't like you or are passing judgment. Here's the twist: this projection is often a mirror reflecting unacknowledged personal feelings.
It's that classic moment when you haven't quite come to terms with the fact that, well, you might not actually like that person. It's a fascinating exploration of how our own unspoken sentiments can influence our perceptions in the professional realm, challenging the idealized image of accepting everyone.
- Displacement - Displacing Diego
Displacement redirects frustration from an unsafe source to unrelated areas to maintain emotional safety.
For instance, if a person in authority, like a boss, communicates in a degrading way, you might find yourself displacing the frustration and anger onto unrelated areas of your life, such as becoming upset with your partner or even directing it at your pet.
Why does this happen? It's a defense mechanism at play. The original source, your boss, feels too unsafe for you to express a proper reaction, so you displace those emotions elsewhere. It's like a spill that needs an outlet, even if it ends up in unexpected places.
- Regression - Regressing Reese
Regression is reverting to immature behaviors from earlier life stages when you are overwhelmed.
Ever catch yourself resorting to old habits like cuddling with a stuffed animal, overeating because anxiety's knocking, or nervously biting your nails? Well, guess what? You're not alone. These behaviors, familiar as an old friend, often trace back to a time when soothing yourself wasn't second nature. Maybe parental guidance missed the mark a bit.
When life gets overwhelming, it's like your system hits rewind, relying on these well-known coping mechanisms. Whether it's reaching for a smoke or diving deep into social media, it's your brain's way of trying to find a little calm in the storm.
- Rationalization - Rationalizing Ralph
Rationalization is justifying questionable actions with biased facts. The excuses often fall away over time.
For instance, someone cheats and covers it up by blaming their partner's disinterest in intimacy. Now, fast forward to a later chapter in life – when they're ready to handle other matters, that rationalization crumbles away. Suddenly, they're face-to-face with the truth. It's like peeling off layers of excuses until reality takes center stage.
- Reaction Formation- Reaction Rachel
Reaction formation is acting in opposition to how you really feel.
A funeral is a solemn occasion where emotions run deep. Now, imagine someone defying the expected atmosphere by cracking jokes and maintaining a lighthearted demeanor.
I once was with a friend who did just that at her mother's funeral, injecting humor into a somber setting. It's an unconventional coping mechanism, a strategy for those grappling with the complexities of expressing and handling deep emotions. Super awkward since we were in the front row.
- Compartmentalization- Compartmentalizing Cameron
Compartmentalization separates life areas to avoid anxiety. It creates emotional boundaries. For example, some individuals refrain from discussing work at home to prevent work-related stress from affecting their personal lives. Clients tell me they used this in the past when they had affairs and didn’t tell either partners they were already involved.
- Intellectualizing- Intellectualizing Isabel
Intellectualizing uses knowledge seeking to create safety in the face of trauma and fear. Observing how this desire for information can create a sense of safety. Interestingly, in areas with dense war and trauma, studies show a higher per capita level of individuals with PhDs, indicating a coping mechanism through intellectual pursuits.
Tips on meeting and greeting your parts:
- Notice which roles or personas you slip into in various situations
- Identify parts you'd like to get to know better
- Be open to uncovering hidden gems within yourself
- Introduce yourself to three inner parts and have an imaginary dialogue.
To get to know yourself better, choose three dominant parts you're curious about. Perhaps write in your journal which parts you identified, such as the Controlling Self, Perfectionist Self, or Fearful Self. Exploring your parts can give you insights into who you may need to retire.
Would you like to be taken through the process of meeting and greeting your parts? This information above is from my deep dive series called Reveal and Heal Obstacles to Your Success™. There you will find a step-by-step healing path to help you build a strong and resilient foundation to heal from your past and move through life with ease.
You can find Meeting and Greeting Your Parts healing class in the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle
Embrace Wholeness with Invoke and Release®
Now that we've explored meeting and greeting your inner parts, does it feel like the right time for integration through Invoke and Release®? This healing process can help you:
- Accept all aspects of yourself with compassion.
- Release limiting beliefs that cause inner conflict.
- Invoke qualities like inner harmony and empowerment.
- Achieve greater self-awareness and wholeness.
Join the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle
Deepen your journey by joining the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. Receive guidance on
- Healing practices to embrace your parts.
- Exercises to foster self-love and acceptance.
- Overcoming inner criticism and judgment.
- Integrating disowned aspects of yourself.
Ready for inner integration? Join the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle now to start your journey toward wholeness and harmony.
Important Links:
Embracing Our Selves: The Voice Dialogue Manual by Hal and Sidra Stone
